Author Archives: thebadgerspath

There’s a colony of ants marching inside of me. They’re touring my entire innards, primarily focusing on my chest cavity. The problem with this is that instead of carrying bread crumbs or sugar granules they each have a haul of different emotions. It’s all encompassing and overwhelming and makes me need to simultaneously scream andContinue reading “Ants”

I’ve had difficulty gathering my thoughts lately. Partially that’s because my brain is struggling and partially because I’ve been too exhausted to think. Today I had therapy, which of course forced me to articulate the past week. I received several lab results this week and the overall theme is dreary. When I told my PrimaryContinue reading “But About Today…”

One of my fundamental beliefs is that when you’re unhappy with a situation you either change it, leave it, or learn to accept it. For the most part I’ve done that quite well throughout life. But for some reason I still have a hole inside me where a nurturing mother should be. I have aContinue reading “Three Moms but No Mother”

I was planned, but I was never wanted. My family has this really unhealthy saying that, “a baby fixes everything.” I personally have been told that I should procreate so that I have a better relationship with my sisters. Not because I want to create life with my spouse and lovingly raise a responsible memberContinue reading “A Baby Fixes Everything”

There are times when I’m unable to attend a family function. No matter the legitimacy of my reason, my not being there becomes a matter of drama and all sorts of accusations are thrown about as to the real reason why. They are all liars to the core, so someone being morally opposed to lyingContinue reading “A Family Dysfunction”

My husband often softens harsh moments with humor. Sometimes the purpose is to make people laugh and calm them down, sometimes it’s to point out when someone is overreacting, and sometimes it’s simply for his own amusement. Regardless of why, it’s his default setting. So when I vocalize my very real fear of going crazyContinue reading “A Bertha in the Attic”

“Love is the only thing that we can carry with us when we go, and it makes the end so easy.” Louisa May Alcott, Little Women I just came across the quote from one of my favorite novels. There is a part of me not ready to go, but only because I worry how DaveContinue reading “An Easy End”

I walked into a small dark office to talk with the man who specializes in QEEG readings. There were so many things he said that I couldn’t even begin to understand. He talked about the Alpha and Beta and Theta, about wavelengths, and about specific portions of the brain. There were several pages of colorfulContinue reading “Cognitive disfunction”

There are times when I’ll be lying down, and I can feel myself slowly dying. My death is imminent. It almost seems as if The Grim Reaper visits me, but for some reason can’t bring itself to take me. So it sets it sickle to the side and sits itself on the edge of theContinue reading “The Grim Weeper”

I woke up yesterday morning in excruciating pain throughout my entire body. When I got up and saw my reflection, I was surprised that none of it reflected back at me. Shouldn’t my head be three times its normal size, with blood vessels visible and squiggly lines coming out of it to portray the throbbing?Continue reading “Invisibly ill”