Author Archives: thebadgerspath

It was my fourth time sitting in the waiting room of that cardiologist. First to meet him, twice for tests, and now for a follow-up. As before, I was calm and collected and I was friendly with everyone I encountered. When taken to the exam room nothing in my demeanor changed. The nurse took myContinue reading “Those Who Adapt, Survive”

health update None of my oral meds are working anymore (bloodwork on ~60 pills/day and bloodwork on 0 pills are practically the same) because they’re not being absorbed and then circulated. I was diagnosed with chronic severe malabsorption several years ago and we’ve tried, fruitlessly, to battle it on different fronts. I also have significantContinue reading “Bypassing the Gut”

I don’t have much energy anymore. Ever. And it seems like what energy I do have gets burnt up in the process of medical appointments. Scheduling them, traveling to and from them, in waiting between the various scrub wearing individuals as they each get their portion of my information, and oh the energy it takesContinue reading “Another Day, Another Doctor”

I recognize and fully appreciate how amazing my life is. I have things good in a way few people get to experience. Currently, I’m literally neck deep in my clawfoot tub of warm lavender water, home made chocolate covered strawberries and sparkling cider on my tray, soulful singer-songwriters serenading me, and my loving husband keepingContinue reading “Recognizing Reality”

There were people at the psych hospital who collected friends like it was the first of a lifetime of summer camps. I was nice to everyone but had no interest in making new friends while there. Surprisingly, there are two people I intend to stay in contact with and grow friendships. Anyway, I left theContinue reading “I Can’t Stop Thinking About Them – Worrying About Them”

I’m still trying to process the past week. I found myself in a situation I had specifically set my life up to avoid. How is it that I can do all the right things and still fail every test miserably? True, what’s good in my life is stellar, but, expletive, what about absolutely everything else?Continue reading “Processing. Or Not.”

It was that pivotal and poignant moment in the movie. Through the heroine’s view of ambulance back windows, you watch the psych hospital fade away as a cityscape passes by while simultaneously being held in place by too many straps on the gurney. My worst fear for as long as I can remember has comeContinue reading “A Living Nightmare”

When medical professionals vow to, “First do no harm” that doesn’t just mean “don’t stab a b*tch.” It encompasses a variety of actions and inactions. If doctors had any idea how much more difficult they make my life, I wonder if there would be a shift in how they treat patients their community. Time andContinue reading “First Do No Harm”

Late last night as I couldn’t sleep I turned to Jane Eyre. Honestly, I was simply relieved that I could concentrate on anything long enough to read several pages. It’s been so very long since I could pay attention to a story, let alone engage in it. I happened to open up to the endingContinue reading “The Combination of It All”

Comic book lore teaches us that exposure to toxic chemicals and the like gives one super powers or at least creates cryptozoological creatures. Why am I slowly dying rather than saving and/or terrorizing the world? This is the epitome of disappointment.