Category Archives: Freely Flowing Thoughts

One of my fundamental beliefs is that when you’re unhappy with a situation you either change it, leave it, or learn to accept it. For the most part I’ve done that quite well throughout life. But for some reason I still have a hole inside me where a nurturing mother should be. I have aContinue reading “Three Moms but No Mother”

I was planned, but I was never wanted. My family has this really unhealthy saying that, “a baby fixes everything.” I personally have been told that I should procreate so that I have a better relationship with my sisters. Not because I want to create life with my spouse and lovingly raise a responsible memberContinue reading “A Baby Fixes Everything”

There are times when I’m unable to attend a family function. No matter the legitimacy of my reason, my not being there becomes a matter of drama and all sorts of accusations are thrown about as to the real reason why. They are all liars to the core, so someone being morally opposed to lyingContinue reading “A Family Dysfunction”

My husband often softens harsh moments with humor. Sometimes the purpose is to make people laugh and calm them down, sometimes it’s to point out when someone is overreacting, and sometimes it’s simply for his own amusement. Regardless of why, it’s his default setting. So when I vocalize my very real fear of going crazyContinue reading “A Bertha in the Attic”

“Love is the only thing that we can carry with us when we go, and it makes the end so easy.” Louisa May Alcott, Little Women I just came across the quote from one of my favorite novels. There is a part of me not ready to go, but only because I worry how DaveContinue reading “An Easy End”

I walked into a small dark office to talk with the man who specializes in QEEG readings. There were so many things he said that I couldn’t even begin to understand. He talked about the Alpha and Beta and Theta, about wavelengths, and about specific portions of the brain. There were several pages of colorfulContinue reading “Cognitive disfunction”

There are times when I’ll be lying down, and I can feel myself slowly dying. My death is imminent. It almost seems as if The Grim Reaper visits me, but for some reason can’t bring itself to take me. So it sets it sickle to the side and sits itself on the edge of theContinue reading “The Grim Weeper”

I woke up yesterday morning in excruciating pain throughout my entire body. When I got up and saw my reflection, I was surprised that none of it reflected back at me. Shouldn’t my head be three times its normal size, with blood vessels visible and squiggly lines coming out of it to portray the throbbing?Continue reading “Invisibly ill”

Today I saw a pretty pink floral shirt that said “don’t feel bad about feeling” and it resonated with me. It was aestheticly appealing to me and the words are true, but it affected me because it was a truth that could have changed my life had it been spoken to me in my moreContinue reading “Don’t feel bad about feeling”

A rambling insight: A few years ago my mother, who has to recall moments of victimization when not actively being victimized, told me how I cried non-stop the first three years of my life and she didn’t get a full night sleep those entire three years. I, now able to stand up for myself, said,Continue reading “Crying babies”