Good days

I’ve had six good days in a row. To have one good day was mostly unheard of the past two plus years, so to have so many together is astounding. Today I even feel normal. And at the risk of being too optimistic, I want to make sure I’m focused and ready if this really is a real change for the better. I want to do this right.

So I should ask myself, who do I want to be when I come out of this? What changes in my behavior and lifestyle do I want to see? What about me do I want to ensure I embrace?

I know I want to be more intentional and in the moment. I’ve been so focused on pushing myself through each moment that I don’t want to miss the moments I can live in to their fullest. Be intentional with words. Take notice of my actions. Experience the moment. Breathe.

I want to be generous with my opinions. I want to accept people as they are close up, not at a distance. I tend to keep a separation between myself and people with personalities that don’t perfectly mesh with me, but if I could be more generous with my opinions of people all the time I might develop new and beneficial relationships. And I’ll do that by reminding myself to be generous in the moment even if I’m annoyed.

Contentment with where I am and what I have rather than striving for what’s next is something else I want to come out of this. The truth is that I’m living a charmed life, and barring my health there’s nothing in it to strive toward! Small goals are good and continually content in the entirety is necessary.

Possibly most importantly, I don’t want to take on more than I can handle. I don’t intend to work full time again and I’ll have to strive to not overdo myself in other avenues like the animals or volunteer work. But I’ve absolutely got to keep myself maintaining a simple life, not a brimming life in a simple setting.

And I want to enjoy my hobbies lightly. I don’t want to take them seriously to myself or to others. I want to enjoy things for the simple pleasure of enjoying them.

So here’s to good days ahead.