It was that pivotal and poignant moment in the movie. Through the heroine’s view of ambulance back windows, you watch the psych hospital fade away as a cityscape passes by while simultaneously being held in place by too many straps on the gurney.
My worst fear for as long as I can remember has come true and I have been institutionalized. The psych hospital transferred me to an ER for lab work, just to be transferred back to the psych hospital until further notice.
This isn’t where I wanted my life to go. I’ve worked ceaselessly since I was 19 to be healthy and sane and live a calm life. There are so many paths life has taken me down that I didn’t expect or sometimes even want. There are too many paths I’ve been placed on that I’ve fought against and I struggle to get back to a healthier one for me. But this? This is that dark and creepy path that I’ve long been scared of and avoided at all cost. And to no avail.
No part of my body seems willing to function as intended or desired.
PS, you know what makes a suicidal person desperate for death? Making her worst fear of being admitted to inpatient psychiatric care an actual living nightmare.
thebadgerspath.com 