“I don’t know what lies around the bend, but I’m going to believe that the best does.” – Anne of Green Gables.
I saw a nice print of this quote from one of my favorite stories and decided to hang it in the entry to our home. Tonight while in a tense discussion about the future of my health, my husband mentioned how my printing that quote is “funny” or “comical, laughable, ironic” given how he chooses to see the positive outcome and I do not. The idea of positivity is an ongoing debate between us and I am just about furious with the redundancy of it. Over and over and over again he fails to understand a critical distinction in the “choice” of being positive. I don’t know if he simply will not hear what I’m saying or if he isn’t listening, but either way I cannot take this loop any more.
Say you’re going down a road and you see a bend up ahead. Not knowing anything about what is ahead of you, you choose to believe that the best is yet to come and joyfully journey forward. In my opinion, your best course of action is to think of a myriad of possibilities that you would enjoy being around the bend and anticipate finding joy in any of them and even more joy in a surprise.
Again say you’re going down a road and you see a bend up ahead. However, this time there is data to extrapolate. If all the information – road signs, details from travelers coming from that direction, travel guide you brought – indicates around the bend is a gravel road with pot holes and a four day journey before you come across a town that doesn’t even have a hotel, then it would be willfully ignorant of you to believe that a well paved road lined with full trees is around the bend and at the end of a day’s journey is a town with a hotel that includes spa and restaurant.
When given the choice of being positive or negative, with consistent reliability I choose positivity and cheerful optimism. It’s a trait people comment on about me. However, I do not choose willful ignorance when there is solid information for me to use in preparation of what is to come. Not only is that simply illogical and childish but it is also setting oneself up for failure and disappointment.
In lieu of data, hope for the best and continue to move forward. When data exists, gather as much as is reasonable and extrapolate the most likely conclusion in order to move forward with the best chances of success. Too many times I’ve traveled without a tent and portable shower because I’ve desperately wanted to believe that this time, surely this time, there’s a cute town with a nice hotel just around the bend rather than believe the information in front of me and braced myself for several more days of bumpy, dusty roads and sleeping in the ditch. I’d rather be properly prepared for an arduous journey ahead than hope for a pleasant ride just to have those hopes dashed time and time again.
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