The local school has a group of Mean Girls. Well, five mean girls and one mean guy they’re all clamoring to impress. This group is universally disliked, yet they play the game so perfectly that they hold all the power in the school.
There’s also this one girl in the school who is their complete antithesis. She’s a free spirit who cares about being genuine and her moral compass is actually stuck on true north so that doing the wrong thing isn’t even an option for her. Because she believes doing right needs no praise and attention gives her anxiety, she actually keeps her good deeds to herself.
Part of them playing their game right is to occasionally invite their antithesis to sit with them at lunch. If she declines for any reason, the mean girls publicly go around trashing her name and spreading false rumors. If she accepts, the mean girls spend the entire meal making it abundantly clear to her that she’s an unwanted outcast. For some reason being nice to this girl who has never done them any harm is not an option.
My husband has multiple theories as to why my family is so nasty to me at every turn. One is that most groups of people have a common person they love to hate together. Because they are all alike and I am their opposite, I’m a clear and easy target for that role. Of course I think it’s childish to need a common hatred and illogical to choose someone who doesn’t do anything to hurt you. Another theory is that I do actively threaten them because they are each bad to their core and they openly lie and scheme in order to keep up appearances, while I’m genuine and honest and good. A group of bad guys having light residually shine on them shows anyone looking how dirty they really are. His final theory is that they simply enjoy being nasty. They learned at an early age that they could be nasty to me without negative consequence, and worse, they learned that I wouldn’t play along which infuriates them and drives them to try harder and harder.
I truly don’t understand being so miserable that you want others to be miserable as well. And I’m clinically depressed with frequent suicidal ideation, so I understand being miserable! One of my sisters sometimes wakes up at night and when she does she wakes up whatever rich guy she’s currently prostituting herself to. She doesn’t wake him up to talk and help her get back to sleep, though. No, her exact quote has repeatedly been, “If I can’t sleep then he’s not going to sleep!” I honestly believe if someone in my family were drowning that they would grab the nearest person and pull them down to the ocean floor with them.
I won’t be pulled down by any of them. And, honestly, I’m already dying and simply the energy it takes to deal with their drama is waring me down even more. I choose to walk away, even if that means they’re collectively lying about me even more. I used to go sit at the mean girl table and endure them in order to prevent the drama of declining their offer. But for my health and welfare I’m choosing to say no more and to no longer listen to their rumors and lies about me. They can simply be mean to each other.
thebadgerspath.com 