Today we had a sit down with my grandparents to talk about the welfare of a couple teenagers in the family. My husband and I are trying to do our best to help them succeed but anyone who ever has legal control over them gives them little more than trauma and dysfunctional life lessons.
At one point in the heated discussion my granddad was trying to convince me that eventually it’ll all work itself out. To prove his position he pointed at me and said, “And who got you out of your situation?” I don’t know who he expected me to name but I honestly shouted through tears, “I did! I got myself out of that house and was lucky enough to be intelligent with a good education so that I could learn what I needed and find my own resources! I did it for myself! But an adult should have been there! Any adult! And these teens don’t have any non-toxic adults around except my husband and me!”
Yes, I made my own success story but not everyone is capable of that. You can’t pull yourself up by the bootstraps when you only have flip-flops. At least I had a quality public school with natural intelligence and drive as boots.
I was told I need to be patient and see how things evolve. I told them, “This isn’t about a lack of patience. I’m actually an exceedingly patient individual. The problem is this is a critical situation where time does matter.” Eventually it was agreed to wait three months before interfering.
Hours later and I’m still upset. Yes, I was able to change my destiny and be successful in my personal and professional life. Except, wait a moment, that’s right, I quite likely would not be so chronically and critically sick had I been raised well. Not only do I still have suicidal thoughts too regularly that nothing so far can cure, but many of my other organs are having severe issues partially due to the physical environment of my childhood. Yes I have a beautiful and successful marriage, despite my becoming an increasingly heavier burden, but I’m no longer able to work or go to school or volunteer or in any way contribute to society. I KNOW I love my husband with everything that I am, but I’ve only felt that love a handful of times because I’m too damaged to feel the good stuff even if I’m smiling and laughing on the outside. What about this life does my granddad consider an example of children overcoming their traumatic upbringing without adult interference?
It’s easier for people with a solid family upbringing and only good things to say about their childhood to believe things just work out. It’s a luxury of those who don’t live daily with that damage.
thebadgerspath.com 